“Financial Disaster”
INGREDIENTS

¼ cup Living above your means
1 lb excessive debt
1 tbsp Not following a budget
2 cups Using credit cards
1 tsp Not saving for emergencies
1 cup Sugar (everyone loves sugar)
1 lb Not planning for retirement

DIRECTIONS

1. Do not learn a basic personal finance education while in high school and do not ask your parents about money. Instead blow through any money that you get without learning any lessons about personal finance, Rely on your parents for a car and your college education.

2. Go through college and attend a school you can’t afford, finance your education and your lifestyle while in school. Do not work more than 10 hours a week during school and certainly do not live on a budget while in college. Do not do anything which will look good to employers when you are applying for jobs. Be sure to play the lottery.

3. After graduation, make minimum payments on your student loan. Borrow money on a new car, a bunch of new furniture and other goodies because you got “the big job.” Don’t consider saving for retirement, there’s plenty of time. Don’t even think about saving for emergencies because that would be pessimistic.

4. Borrow money to pay for the wedding and go on a very expensive honeymoon, after all, you only get one…or do you? Get an exotic mortgage to pay for your home because you’re not bankable for a traditional mortgage. Continue to make minimum payments on all of your debt.

5. Maintain the same lifestyle after having children. Make sure your children have the best toys and are wearing the best clothing. Put any extra expenses on your credit cards. Consolidate your debt with a home equity loan which will solve all of your financial problems. After consolidating your debt, use multi-level marketing programs and get rich quick schemes to make extra money.

6. Get a PLUS loan to pay for your children’s college. Don’t worry about retirement, the government will take care of you, after all you paid in Social Security all these years. Don’t even think about writing a will or doing any estate planning.

7. Continue making minimum payments; don’t worry about your debt. Get a reverse mortgage to pay for your expenses throughout your golden years.



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