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Several million Americans including my self frequently listen to a radio show from 1 to 4 PM Eastern in the afternoon. Unlike most political and sports talk shows, this is actually a show about you, me and everyone else. The Dave Ramsey show discusses topics of personal finance largely, but also extends to other areas of life. Every now and then the show has “theme hours” in which they accept calls on a particular topic, such as college, automobiles, the minimum wage, giving, and tipping.

One of the more popular theme hours is that of marriage and money. It’s no surprise that married couples are arguing about money, usually one person is a saver, and the other is a spender. Usually one is a nerd who budgets down to every last penny, and the other is a free spirit who just pays for things as they come in. One interesting thing that most callers in this theme hour have in common is that when they refer to their financial situation, they refer to their assets and debts as “his” and “hers”. For example, a woman recently called in and the husband wanted to use some of “her” income to pay off “his” student loan. These people have some issues.

When you get married, the pastor or priest will declare “and now you are one.” He doesn’t say, “And now you are a joint venture” or “and now you are one, except when it comes to money.” You and your spouse are two halves of one whole. The second you get married, everything that is yours is your spouses. Yes, this includes savings, debt, income, and the like.

Too many couples attempt to operate separately with money. Some couples just have separate checking accounts, others even have completely separate financial lives and just split the bills fifty-fifty. This is not how marriage works. Marriage is a holy institution designed by God for us, we don’t get to change the rules in the middle of the game. There are several references in the bible which state that when a couple is married, they are one, not two.

Couples who separate their financial lives often have much deeper issues of trust in their life. If they cannot trust their spouse with their money, who can they trust?

We need to quit referring to our stuff as “mine” and “hers”, it’s ours. “We” have an income, “we” have debt, and “we” have a retirement program.



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