Comments on: Marriage and Money: It’s Ours, Not Yours and Mine. http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html Helping Smart Shoppers Save Sat, 20 Mar 2010 21:11:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Heather http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html/comment-page-1#comment-4070 Heather Wed, 11 Jun 2008 04:41:42 +0000 http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html#comment-4070 I disagree with this article and the way most Americans handle this situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years now and have never combined our money. Guess what? We have never had a single fight regarding money. Seriously. The number one cause of arguments and divorce is over money. I believe that has been a big reason for our success as a couple. Granted, we are not married, but we have been in a committed relationship for 12 years and living together for almost that long for that matter, how many marriages last that long? The average length of a marriage is 7 years. We even bought our house together. It's that only thing that we have gone in together (besides our apt leases, of course). I also don't agree with the thought that man and woman becomes "one" when they marry. I believe we need to keep our identity as a whole person not one half. I didn't realize that "God" created this idea. That's probably a reason (subconsciously) that I'm an atheist. I disagree with this article and the way most Americans handle this situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years now and have never combined our money. Guess what? We have never had a single fight regarding money. Seriously. The number one cause of arguments and divorce is over money. I believe that has been a big reason for our success as a couple. Granted, we are not married, but we have been in a committed relationship for 12 years and living together for almost that long for that matter, how many marriages last that long? The average length of a marriage is 7 years. We even bought our house together. It’s that only thing that we have gone in together (besides our apt leases, of course).

I also don’t agree with the thought that man and woman becomes “one” when they marry. I believe we need to keep our identity as a whole person not one half. I didn’t realize that “God” created this idea. That’s probably a reason (subconsciously) that I’m an atheist.

]]> By: Chris Hynes http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html/comment-page-1#comment-206 Chris Hynes Tue, 20 Feb 2007 18:28:00 +0000 http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html#comment-206 It's more complicated than that -- it's not just an easy black/white issue. What works for some may not work for others.<br/><br/>Or maybe a combination approach is better -- joint money is used to pay expenses, and then each spouse gets their own pot of money to spend as they see fit.<br/><br/>I've seen bickering over each other's spending become a big issue for many couples, because one or the other doesn't want to spend "our" money in a certain way. With clearly delineated pots of money, that problem goes away. It’s more complicated than that — it’s not just an easy black/white issue. What works for some may not work for others.

Or maybe a combination approach is better — joint money is used to pay expenses, and then each spouse gets their own pot of money to spend as they see fit.

I’ve seen bickering over each other’s spending become a big issue for many couples, because one or the other doesn’t want to spend “our” money in a certain way. With clearly delineated pots of money, that problem goes away.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html/comment-page-1#comment-76 Anonymous Wed, 24 Jan 2007 18:50:00 +0000 http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html#comment-76 I have to definetly disagree on this. With the divorce rate as high as it is, the fact that money is one of the largest issues facing married couples, and that each person tends to have different money spending and saving traits, it would be a terrible idea for some couples to combine accounts. My wife and I have seperate accounts and split every expense down the middle. We then set aside whatever our predetermined amount of savings is into a joint account, for vacations and a nest egg of sorts, and whatever we each have left is spending money for our hobbies, lunches with friends, and personal habits. I like it this way as I do not feel like my hobbies, which can be expensive, are going to cut into the money we have made. This also keeps my spending under control. I only have the small amount left over after "our finances" are handled to spend on ME. I have to definetly disagree on this. With the divorce rate as high as it is, the fact that money is one of the largest issues facing married couples, and that each person tends to have different money spending and saving traits, it would be a terrible idea for some couples to combine accounts. My wife and I have seperate accounts and split every expense down the middle. We then set aside whatever our predetermined amount of savings is into a joint account, for vacations and a nest egg of sorts, and whatever we each have left is spending money for our hobbies, lunches with friends, and personal habits. I like it this way as I do not feel like my hobbies, which can be expensive, are going to cut into the money we have made. This also keeps my spending under control. I only have the small amount left over after “our finances” are handled to spend on ME.

]]> By: Kimber http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html/comment-page-1#comment-70 Kimber Mon, 22 Jan 2007 15:44:00 +0000 http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html#comment-70 Okay, merging everything is all fine and dandy as long as nothing like...identity theft or say, a lawsuit happens. Or wait, what if one person gets hit by a train, and their will is contested? Frankly, I think having one big pot of money, one bank account, one merged credit report, is a bit too risky for me. Okay, merging everything is all fine and dandy as long as nothing like…identity theft or say, a lawsuit happens. Or wait, what if one person gets hit by a train, and their will is contested? Frankly, I think having one big pot of money, one bank account, one merged credit report, is a bit too risky for me.

]]> By: bluntmoney http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html/comment-page-1#comment-66 bluntmoney Mon, 22 Jan 2007 03:57:00 +0000 http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html#comment-66 I made the comment about religious beliefs because the post mentions some people having separate finances, then immediately states that "This is not how marriage works", and then goes on to talk about God and the Bible. (But personally I don't think that how finances are handled necessarily has to do with religious beliefs.) I made the comment about religious beliefs because the post mentions some people having separate finances, then immediately states that “This is not how marriage works”, and then goes on to talk about God and the Bible. (But personally I don’t think that how finances are handled necessarily has to do with religious beliefs.)

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html/comment-page-1#comment-65 Anonymous Mon, 22 Jan 2007 03:54:00 +0000 http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html#comment-65 Best way to avoid this all together is just not get married. There is no benefit for a man to get married. Best way to avoid this all together is just not get married. There is no benefit for a man to get married.

]]> By: finance girl http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html/comment-page-1#comment-62 finance girl Mon, 22 Jan 2007 01:08:00 +0000 http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html#comment-62 absolutely couldn't agree with you more! We have total transparency and that has led to more of a team effort and "same goals".<br /><br />Also, it provides more money to save and to invest!<br /><br />I don't know why bluntmoney assumes it has anything to do with religious beliefs; it doesn't. absolutely couldn’t agree with you more! We have total transparency and that has led to more of a team effort and “same goals”.

Also, it provides more money to save and to invest!

I don’t know why bluntmoney assumes it has anything to do with religious beliefs; it doesn’t.

]]> By: Joan http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html/comment-page-1#comment-61 Joan Sun, 21 Jan 2007 20:27:00 +0000 http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html#comment-61 We do handled our money jointly in all aspects. I considered us very fortunate because having married young, we didn't discuss money before getting married.<br />What about a spouse who cannot trust her/his spouse with money. Perhaps separate accounts are what saves them from divorce. What about couples who change their views on their finances well into the marriage - one becomes more conservative. Separate accounts may be their compromise. What works for some couples may not be the answer for others. We do handled our money jointly in all aspects. I considered us very fortunate because having married young, we didn’t discuss money before getting married.
What about a spouse who cannot trust her/his spouse with money. Perhaps separate accounts are what saves them from divorce. What about couples who change their views on their finances well into the marriage – one becomes more conservative. Separate accounts may be their compromise. What works for some couples may not be the answer for others.

]]> By: bluntmoney http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html/comment-page-1#comment-60 bluntmoney Sun, 21 Jan 2007 19:48:00 +0000 http://www.americanconsumernews.com/2007/01/marriage-and-money-it%e2%80%99s-ours-not-yours-and-mine.html#comment-60 It sounds like you're assuming that everyone that gets married has the same religious beliefs as you, and so therefore there's only one "right" way to do things. It sounds like you’re assuming that everyone that gets married has the same religious beliefs as you, and so therefore there’s only one “right” way to do things.

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