Here are five ways to help prevent money from ruining your relationship:

1.   Always remember what attracted you to one another and why you wed. Your relationship is about much more than money. Although it’s bound to happen, you simply need to know how to deal with it.  First and foremost, remove such thoughts as, “we are just a bad match” out of your head.  Once you do that, it will be easier to discuss this issue.

2.    Understand history. The perception you have on finances and how you deal with them usually stems back to your parents and what you were taught by them.  Share this with each other.  It will give you a much better understanding of where your partner is coming from and the reason for their money habits. You still may not agree, but it will make you less angry allowing you to be more considerate to one another.

3.    Defuse a fight and give a little credit. The worst time to have the “money talk” is when you are angry. Take a moment to cool down and then, using a friendly tone, express your feeling and concerns.  Begin with a positive.  You could say, “I admire the way you can make such a purchase without overanalyzing it.”  Thus, leaving your spouse open to respond with something like, “Your attention and diligence in managing our bank accounts is what makes you a wonderful partner.”  Stay on the topic at hand and be empathetic.  Feeling understood makes it much easier to fabricate a solution.

4.    Spending plan vs. budget. To many, the word “budget” carries a harsh meaning.  It may leave you with strict rules and be hard to stick by. Try replacing it with a “spending plan”. By having a good plan in place keeps you more on track.  You both will have the understanding of your income and your expenses, reminding you that you are partners working toward the same goals that you previously set together.

5.    Divide up your cash by giving each other an allowance. Use your joint account where you each contribute an equal percentage of their paycheck to pay all the bills.  Use separate accounts for your weekly allowances.  This money is for you each to choose how and where to spend it.  It will allow you assure the bills are being paid and at the same time, not having to be accountable to each other for every dollar you spend.

Chances are good that there is at least something for each of you to admire about the other’s spending and money habits.  Find out what it is, compliment it and create a good financial balance between you.  Ultimately it will result in fewer money arguments, a more successful relationship, and better financial practices within your relationship.

Five Ways to Argue Less About Money was created by and is property of American Consumer News.

The financial concerns of many marriages are often the building blocks to a divorce. More couples argue over money matters than almost any other issue. It can get out of control and often both parties are left jaded and bitter, with no hope of full reconciliation. But as desperate as people become to get out of a bad marriage, many couples literally can not afford to divorce.

There are many financial factors involved in divorce. First and foremost, there is the legal aspect of the situation. Legal fees, time off from work for court, and other fees associated with the legalities of divorce can be seemingly insurmountable depending on the individual situation. Couples who are not exactly willing to work out their differences in a suitable manner may be in for a long and expensive fight. Many people can not afford the fight and continue to live in a loveless marriage, which can be very physically and emotionally draining.

Secondly, the expenses of establishing two separate households can keep many couples together, especially when children are involved. Buying or renting a new house, moving expenses, setting up utilities can all be costly adventures many couples can not afford to take on. Couples who have a lot of debts can not always find a way to pay all the bills and still be able to survive on their own. It can seem overwhelming to think of changing every aspect of your daily life so many will choose to not make that change, despite the difficulties they face living together.

Third, the act of finding affordable insurance for your whole family is hard to do, even through an employer but if you have to go about it on your own, it can be very expensive and a daunting experience.

There are so many considerations to make when it comes to the issue of divorces that many people would rather suffer in silence than make a break. But you do have other options that do not involve the traditional motions of divorce.

Here is an overview of what else you can do legally to bypass the expensive legal fees of divorce:

• File for a legal separation and split property, assets and debts without going through an actual divorce.

• Choose to take custody and financial support issues on your own to family court. You can deal with family court without having a lawyer present and it will help to resolve the serious family issues that are at stake.

• If you are reading this and haven’t yet married, work out a prenuptial agreement that outlines all your financial information, including debts, should the future hold  a divorce.

Is It Worth It to Get Divorced? was created by and is property of American Consumer News.