Back in the day, many families remained together under one roof. Parents and children shared the same living space with grandparents, aunts, and cousins. It was a pretty common and viable living arrangement. Today, it seems that history is repeating itself more often due to the tough economy, increase in job losses, incidents of divorce, and even sometimes due to procrastination. More adult children are returning to mom and dad’s and in most cases, parents still feel some obligation to welcome them home with open arms.

However, for empty nest parents, allowing your adult child to return home may not be the best decision, financially or otherwise. Of course no parent wants to see a child fall on hard times but parents also need to consider their own best interests.

Here are a few considerations to make before you refill the nest:

• Understand the true intent of your adult child’s return home. Are they really in need of assistance or are they just looking for free handouts? While it may be hard as a parent to separate emotions on this subject, a bit of objectivity is important. Getting taken advantage of so close to (or after) retirement age can be a big financial risk.

• Does your child have a solid plan? While it may be appropriate to help a child in need, it is very important to understand whether or not your child has a plan to get back on their own feet again after your initial assistance. If they do not, encourage them to do so or set an ultimatum.

• Have a timeline. When your child presents their plan to get back to the real world, make sure you set and commit to a timeline for leaving. Do they plan to stay for 3 months? 6 months? Do not let them dictate to you how long they can stay. It is your house and you have a say in the matter as well. Whatever time table you agree to, be sure to honor that date and make sure your child does too.

• Help doesn’t have to be free. If you as parents are struggling to make ends meet, it is completely reasonable to ask your child to chip in with living costs. Perhaps you want cash towards rent, groceries or utilities. Whatever amount you deem fair, you should be able to require a contribution to the household.

• Don’t blow your budget. If you live on a budget, do not allow your child’s presence in the home to affect it, causing you financial strain. Continue contributing to your savings or retirement plan, putting your needs on top.

• Work with them but don’t do it for them. While your children are accustomed to your assistance when in need, as adults they should be more than capable of doing things for themselves. It can be very tempting to want to fix your kid’s mistakes but if you do, they will never learn and likely never leave your home.

As you get older, you will likely need to rely on your children for assistance too. Unfortunately many individuals will use that reality for guilt purposes. Both parents and children should be willing to set and abide by boundaries that are set when it comes to cohabitation and financial support.

When the Nest Gets Full Again was created by and is property of American Consumer News.

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With the way things are going financially, so many families have had to make tough decisions in the name of basic survival. Many people have been hit hard by the economic crisis and are facing a lot of changes in their lives in a short period of time. One demographic group that is really feeling the pinch is the elderly. Those who have retired or are disables may not be able to survive on their governmental benefits and may see their retirement accounts slipping away to nothing fast. They may be forced to sell their homes because they can no longer afford their taxes or the cost to heat their homes in the winter. Many will relocate to senior citizen communities if they can afford the monthly rents and other associated costs.

Some will simply not know what to do. For those older folks, one alternative may be the decision to reside with their adult children. Some families will already have an extra bedroom for the accommodations and some will have to make renovations to the current family home. In either case, the living situation can be ideal for the elderly parents on a fixed income and for the growing families who can use the extra assistance.

While it all may be well and good to think extended families living together can do so in peace and harmony, the truth of the matter is that a few ground rules, when established from the start, can be advantageous to both parties and help eliminate unnecessary tension. Here are a few tips to help families work through difficult life changes when moving back in together.

Plan Wisely for a Home Makeover

Some families may decide to upgrade the basement or the attic to accommodate the larger family. Some families may need to do some additional construction to accommodate a disabled parent. Regardless of the type of upgrades needed, it is essential that the financial aspects of the remodeling be discussed and agreed upon prior to starting. It needs to be crystal clear by both parties who is paying for what. There is no faster way to start a family feud than a dispute over money. Perhaps the sale of a parent’s home can provide the cash for the remodel or maybe the agreement can be split 50/50. Whatever the plan is, put it in writing so both parties will have their expectations in line.

Plan to Share Expenses

Since there is another person in the home, some of the household expenses will increase, such as utilities. It is reasonable to make an agreement between both parties regarding what constitutes shared expenses and how much is fair. Mortgages and taxes would be good examples of what is not a fair share expense because whether or not grandma moved in, would not affect those bills. Paying a fair share of bills can be determined by an equal share based on the number of people in the home or it can be based on the financial situation of the families. There is no right or wrong way to divide. It is all up to the discretion of the parties involved.

Plan for the Future

Elderly parents need to work on plans for the near future and the possibilities of long term care. If the adult children living in the home would need to hire a nurse or employ other medical care, plans should be made and discussed before something should happen. Planning ahead can help the whole family make any transitions smoothly and be prepared to deal with life changes. Elderly parents should also keep their wills updated and their final wishes known to their loved ones in the event of an emergency.

Remember to Respect

It may take some adjusting for some families to get used to the possible loss of privacy and for the elderly, a loss of independence. Families need to remember to respect each other and each other’s spaces. Family discussions about living issues can help stop small problems before they get out of control.

Is It Time To Move In With the Kids? was created by and is property of American Consumer News.